Post Number One

This is my first post on this blog. I decided I needed a space to write about my experiences and I have a strange thing about writing in diaries.

I suppose a good way to start is to describe the situation now. Well, I'm Alice, I'm almost 24 and will be getting married next month. Oh another thing; I have schizoaffective disorder and I'm currently in hospital. Things are not good.

The bf (soon to be husband) had phoned the community mental health team who told us to go to A&E. A few people at this hospital have said that I went voluntarily to A&E but the actual truth is I didn't want to go there. We arrived at 6pm and finally got out at 3am. That's when the journey to Worthing began. There were no beds anywhere else. I saw loads of doctors and was initially on eyesight observations. During the night, the nurse who was supposed to be watching me fell asleep.

I came in as a voluntary patient, even though I'm subject to a community treatment order. So I thought, at 2pm yesterday afternoon that I would be allowed to leave seeing as they can't detain me. But they said they could. I don't believe they can but they still restrained me and jabbed me with something. I don't know what medicine they gave me but I slept pretty much from 3pm-6am this morning. So I'm guessing it was olanzepine or something.

This morning I woke up and not much had changed. The voices are terrible, I am so scared, I feel like my life is in danger. I've been crying all morning really. I've had 10mg olanzepine and 2mg lorazepam literally 30 minutes ago. This is to add to the 5mg olanzepine and 1mg lorazepam that I had earlier. So chances are ill be in a coma later.

I'm too scared to eat the food here and I'm happy that the nurses aren't pushing me to.

I have no idea what my legal status is in that I got detained under section 5.4 yesterday and no one has mentioned it today. So am I still informal on a community treatment order or am I actually detained. I don't understand my legal rights :-(


Story: to be continued