Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Reminiscing and that feeling that you're almost there.

I took 125mg clozapine tonight. Then tomorrow it will be 2 lots of 125mg and then Thursday is the last day of the original titration. I thought I would look back at what, in my mind, sounds worse than it actually is.

I think my bad experience in eastbourne hospital being titrated too quickly (and consequently feeling very ill) sort of made me more anxious about starting on it again. But these last 13 days have been ok and have passed without much thought.

Earlier on (during this admission), I felt restless. I just wanted to go home and didn't really care for clozapine. In fact I even begged to come off the clozapine so I could go home. I'm so glad I stayed. Not that I had much choice being detained and all, but I could have refused the tablets.

I'm not at 100% but I'm getting there no think that the best place for me now is to be at home getting ready for the wedding and basically the rest of my life. I hope I am released soon because I feel that the remaining dose adjustments can be done in the community.

The bf has written a letter to the hospital managers requesting my discharge. They then have 72 hours to do that. Unless the psychiatrist doesn't agree and blocks it. But I don't see how they can because I'm not a danger to myself or others and I am willing to take medicine.


But wow, this titration has gone fast

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